How to Deal with Loneliness
Loneliness can be tough. As an only child with two full-time working parents, I spent a lot of time by myself, home alone growing up. I didn’t have many friends, and being single sometimes made me feel even more isolated. I often hid these feelings from my family and peers, but deep down, I feared that I’d never find people to truly connect with.
There was a period in my twenties when I wasn’t in a relationship or dating for over three years. During that time, I constantly questioned things like, “What’s the point of life if I have no one to share it with?” The truth is, humans are wired to love and be loved, but sometimes it feels impossible to express or receive that love.
Eventually, I realized that I had to stop feeling sorry for myself and take action. Here are three things that helped me break free from loneliness, attract new friends, and feel more confident:
1. Stepping Out of My Comfort Zone
As a natural introvert, I had a lot of anxiety about meeting new people—especially talking to girls. But I knew that if I wanted to stop feeling lonely, I had to push myself beyond my comfort zone.
That meant changing my mindset and forcing myself to be more social. I started saying yes to invitations, staying out later on weekends, and going to social gatherings, even when I felt nervous or tired. I knew I couldn’t solve my loneliness by just sitting at home playing video games and binge-watching shows.
2. Investing in Personal Growth
To get better at socializing, I started reading books like The Game by Neil Strauss and How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. These books gave me the confidence and skills to improve my interactions with others.
I also hit the gym—not just to look better, but to feel better about myself. Building confidence starts from within, and taking care of my body helped me feel more comfortable approaching people who were more attractive.
3. Making the Most of My Single Years
Instead of dwelling on being single, I decided to embrace it. I made a group of fun, like-minded, single friends, and every week, we’d go out—whether it was watching movies, trying new food spots, bars, clubs, or just being loud and obnoxious in the middle of downtown LA.
I realized that these moments were worth cherishing. One day, if I settled down into a serious relationship or marriage, I wouldn’t have as much time for these carefree adventures. Instead of wishing for something different, I learned to appreciate the phase of life I was in. And boy, looking back now, I’m so glad I had those moments.
4. Getting a Pet
One of the easiest ways to find companionship is by getting a pet. I had a dog, and she was one of my best friends. Walking her every day, taking her on trips, and simply having her around brought so much comfort and joy. There’s a reason why dogs are called "man’s best friend"—they’re always there for you, always excited to see you, and never judge you.
However, getting a pet is a big commitment. A dog isn’t an Playstation that you can turn off and put away when you’re not in the mood. It’s a living being that depends on you for love and care. If you decide to get a pet, make sure you’re ready to be a responsible owner for the next 10+ years.
Final Thoughts
Loneliness isn’t permanent. It’s a feeling, not a life sentence. The key is to take action—step outside your comfort zone, invest in yourself, find joy in the present, and, if you’re ready, consider getting a furry companion. By doing this, you’ll not only attract great people into your life, but you’ll also become someone who enjoys their own company. And that’s the most powerful thing of all.
