How to Overcome Negative Thoughts and Emotions

Have you ever seen a baby in a bad mood while being well-fed, clothed, and cared for? Probably not. That’s because we aren’t born with negative thoughts or emotions—they’re learned from the world around us. Parents, peers, and even our own observations can shape how we think and feel, often without us realizing it.

If negative emotions are weighing you down, here’s why they might be happening and how to rise above them.

4 Common Causes of Negative Emotions

1. Justifying Your Feelings
   When you’re hurt or upset, it’s easy to point fingers. Blaming someone or something for how you feel might seem like a relief, but it can trap you in negativity. Instead of excusing the feeling, ask yourself: “Is this helping me move forward?”

2. Taking Things Personally
   Not getting invited to a party or being teased about your appearance can sting. But often, these situations aren’t as personal as they feel. Maybe they forgot to invite you by accident, or someone’s hurtful comment is a reflection of their own insecurities. Don’t let their actions define your worth.

3. Feeling Unacknowledged
   You worked hard on a project, but no one noticed. You helped out your team, but they didn’t say thank you. When your efforts go unrecognized, it’s natural to feel unappreciated. Instead of letting it hurt your ego, remind yourself that your value isn’t tied to others’ approval.

4. Destructive Criticism
   Criticism that tears you down rather than builds you up can be one of the biggest sources of negativity. Maybe a parent says something like, “You’ll never succeed,” or someone mocks your grades. Recognize that their words reflect them, not you, and focus on constructive ways to improve.

How to Overcome Negative Thoughts and Emotions

Overcoming negativity takes practice, but here are two powerful strategies:

1. Forgive the Person

   To forgive is to benefit you, not the other person who hurt you. Without forgiveness, it is like drinking poison and hoping the other person gets sick and dies. 90% of the time, that person has no idea how much they hurt you.

2. Detach From Negative Thoughts
   When a negative thought or emotion pops up, imagine it as a cloud drifting by. Instead of holding onto it, let it float away. At first, you may need to do this repeatedly—even several times in a minute—but with time, it becomes easier to separate yourself from those thoughts. Remember: You are not your thoughts or emotions.

3. Confront and Communicate
   There is no better way than to go straight to the source and tell them how they’ve hurt you but do it in a kind way. Chances are they have no idea you’re hurt because they have “more important” things to worry about. This will give you immediate closure and possibly prevent the same occurrence from happening again.

Final Tip: Guard Your Inner Peace

Build a Mental Shield
Protect yourself from harmful comments by visualizing an invisible shield between you and the person speaking. Imagine their words bouncing off the shield and away from you. This is especially important when hurtful remarks come from someone you care about or look up to. If the conversation starts heading in a negative direction, put up your shield, look away, or even step away to protect your peace.

You’ve got this!