Reunited with My Dad
Sometimes, life throws curveballs that force us to make tough decisions, and for me, it was cutting ties with my dad for two years. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. This is my story of struggle, healing, and the journey to reconciliation.
The Breaking Point
Two years ago, in October 2022, I was in a major car accident. Someone ran a red light and T-boned the front of my truck. The crash left me with a severe concussion. I had no idea what a concussion felt like, and the symptoms—confusion, frustration, and difficulty thinking—lasted for weeks.
During this time, my parents found themselves at odds over a major decision that started before my accident. Despite living together, they couldn’t communicate effectively. This left me, acting as the mediator over the phone. Constantly relaying their messages on separate calls was exhausting, especially with my head injury.
One day, in a moment of pure frustration, I told my mom, “Dad is just an a-hole like his older brother.” Unbeknownst to me, my dad was on speakerphone and overheard. That comment set him off, and he began yelling and threatening over the phone. I couldn’t even articulate a proper response due to my concussion, so I yelled back at him, “I’m going to go kick your f* ass!”.
A few days later, after a doctor’s appointment near their home, I drove to their house, boiling in a rage. I rang the doorbell, but thankfully, they weren’t home. That moment made me realize just how much their conflict was affecting me. I decided then and there to cut them off—for my own mental health.
The Two-Year Break
The decision to distance myself from my dad wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. I had to set boundaries to protect my well-being and focus on healing.
Benefits of the Break
Mental Reset
The break gave me a chance to clear my mind and work on myself emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Without constant exposure to the tension and triggers that used to upset me, I could finally breathe.Family Focus
Stepping away allowed me to focus on my own family. My wife and I argued less, and our home became a more peaceful space without the stress and influence my parents used to bring.Provided My Mom with a Break
My mom was free to hang out with us without my dad around. This gave her an escape from the chaos that was going in at home. However, she started bringing chaos from home into our lives so I have not seen her for 8 months since we reunited in Christmas.
Drawbacks of the Break
Resentment and Grudge
Cutting my dad off wasn’t without its challenges. Resentment built up, and the thought of hate and anger made me wish bad things to happen to him. There’s a saying, “Holding a grudge is like swallowing a poison pill and expecting the other person to die.” It was very stressful to put my mind and body through it.Judgment from Others
Friends and relatives would ask about my dad, and I either had to dodge the question or explain the situation. The judgment I received from some people only added to the emotional toll.Anxiety
Living close by also gave me anxiety—I dreaded the thought of running into him at the store or pulling up next to him at a stop light.
The Reunion
This past Thanksgiving, I learned that my dad was traveling to Taiwan and wouldn’t be back until after New Year’s. Seizing the opportunity, I invited my mom to spend Christmas with us and her grandkids. She mentioned my dad’s return, but I decided to take the risk and break bread as a family.
To my surprise, Christmas was incredible. There was no yelling, no passive aggression, no insensitive comments, just peace. We celebrated both Christmas and my dad’s New Year’s birthday, and everything went smoothly. Later that night, I teared up, overwhelmed by how perfect the day had been. It didn’t even feel real.
I elected to be the photographer
Moving Forward
Reuniting with my dad after two years was a healing experience, but it doesn’t mean things will go back to the way they were. I’ve set clear boundaries, and I’m determined to protect my mental health.
For anyone dealing with family dysfunction, know this: it’s okay to take a break. Sometimes, distance is the only way to find clarity. And when you’re ready, reconciliation can be a beautiful thing—but only on your terms.
What are your thoughts on setting boundaries with family? Have you ever needed to take a step back to protect your peace? Share your stories below, I’d love to hear them!
